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Episode 42 ~ Honouring Sydney Miller with Sandi Loytomaki


Episode 42 ~ Honouring Sydney Miller with Sandi Loytomaki

“When we pass over to the other side, we become everything, we become one with all. All the traditions, this connects back to the phrase ‘I and I’, . . .I (the individual self) am a part of divinity connected to the Larger Self, all traditions speak about this, I am physical and I am spiritual. . ..I AM, I AM.” -SL 

After a long hiatus, due to personal and professional circumstances in Robert’s life, Episode 42 of QuestHands returns with the highest dose of Spirit & Love. This long awaited episode for the first time in Questhands history varies away from the structure to pay tribute to Sydney Jo Miller (July 4th 1994 - September 13th 2017). Beloved daughter, sister, friend, dancer, model, artist, teacher, mentor and even QuestHands co-host of Episode 26. Whichever role she played in your life, she was bound to illuminate it with her colourful personality. While dancing on Royal Caribbean’s Quantum of the Seas in 2016, Robert had the honour to meet, dance and explore Asia with Sydney. They were like Tigger and Pooh. Her yang to his yin. Robert being Canadian, with a lifestyle of yoga, meditation and veganism. While Sydney from North Carolina, USA, over a decade younger, a louder, fearless, rockstar beauty. They connected through their love of animals, efficiency, ice cream, avocados and well, life. With Sydney’s passing coinciding with September’s Suicide Awareness Month and October’s Mental Health Awareness Month, Robert decided to include these key topics in the spotlight to help shed stigmas. 

“I don’t want to be remembered for me as an individual, ‘she did this’ or ‘she was that’. What I want to leave behind are the teachings, alive and living in others. So they can carried forward.” -SL

Joining Robert in this powerful conversation is Sandi Loytomaki. Who Robert couldn’t think of a  more suitable person to dialogue and offer their light on. Robert and Sandi are celebrating 1 decade of friendship after meeting through their 3HO Kundalini Yoga Teachers Training. Besides being a fellow yogi, Sandi is one of Robert’s greatest inspirations for all matters human and Spirit. It was from a very young age that she always wanted to help not only people and all living beings. She is a teacher and someone who is dedicated to carrying on the ways of her ancestors, and accessing indigenous medicine way lineage.  She is very clear to have it be known that her wisdom shared is not about her, but simply Universal principals that she is a vehicle to offer to us as a whole.

“I have something new to learn everyday, and the day that I don’t learn something new, is the day that it is my time to return home.” -SL

Together Robert and Sandi listen to some of Sydney’s thoughts, then reflect further on what resonates with them. This conversation builds into rich offerings for all, especially regarding mental health, the essence of life and death, Spirit and our true nature. 

“Where did this voice come from in me, why is that voice there? Do I want to choose to keep that part of me present? Or is it time that this part of me dies and returns to Source? So I can birth something new out of myself?” -SL

It is an amazing ‘Law of Attraction’ how Sydney got to explore her ancestry in Korea, while she celebrated her passion. This was quite symbolic for Sandi to hear as she has constantly been exploring her ancestry and identity. Where theres a will, theres a way. Be it of medicine or athleticism. She had the opportunity to study and work in Finland which was a profound experience.

“Because we are physical and spiritual beings we can go anywhere at anytime, we can meet anyone at anytime. So I can go into an altered state of consciousness and I can communicate with my ancestors, I can communicate with my family that is present in the physical world at this time, I can communicate with other elders in different places of the world. And it’s just the way we are wired. I like to say, ‘It’s just the way we are hardwired and softwired’. I don’t need a cellphone to do that, I don’t need internet to do that.” -SL

Sandi speaks clearly and slowly for us all to grasp some understanding on the various topics. Truly a humble Guru here to serve and friend to all. A wonderful concept she explained is ‘Hardwire’ & ‘Softwire’. Hardwired is the way our neurology (neurones, cells, nerves) is set up in the body. While Softwired is of vibrations, intuition development and Soul knowing. Some valuable self development tools were shared, such as free flow speaking, journalling or a creative art project. Sandi encouraged us to develop our ‘witnessing ability’. To remember to go back, to read and listen where these aspects of ourselves are coming from. To live with intent, to feel and experience yourself to move things. 

“Our internal cleansing waters, the tears that happen when we grieve, that many cultures and traditions want to restrain or withhold or must happen within a certain timeframe. In the west there is all these conditions with whether you should cry or shouldn’t cry and when you should cry or shouldn’t cry, and if you cry too much you are weak or if you cry at all you are weak, depending on what gender you are or where you are. We never hear how beautiful and wonderful crying is and how cleansing it is and how positive it is. And how the tears of sadness are just as wonderful as the tears of joy.” -SL

Sydney speaks on her cleansing shower ritual which Sandi clarified and affirmed how she was not just cleansing her physical being, but all aspects of her being to lay the intent of returning to original essence. Sandi also shared great knowledge around humans being composed of up to 74% water and the importance of our internal and external plumbing systems. For our blood to move properly within for nutrients to be absorbed and for our toxins and wastes to get out.  How when you cleanse you are making space for something nourishing, and to be mindful of that. If not then the harmonic resonance of what was dominantly there before will return.

“I no longer have a bucket list, my bucket list is to live truly, madly, deeply, fully, completely, every moment of every day that I am alive. So every morning I wake up, that’s my quest.” -SL

Sandi speaks holistically on death and of personal choices to leave Earth. These are taboo topics for us, especially in societies where religious, cultural and medical ideologies are enforced but not questioned. There is lots of talk around prolonging life and staying away from death. However by putting all this aside, if we just look at death as another aspect of life; individually coming in as a vibration form, a soul journey that no one knows but that soul itself. Then really, who are we to judge what that soul chooses? For it is all about the experience, the evolution, learning and growth.

“If you don’t have a foundation, it is very difficult to build a house, particularly in certain areas of the world. The same thing happens with our consciousness. We can’t build a higher consciousness without a foundation”. -SL

No ‘Weekly Quest’ was needed as Sandi offered multiple invitations for our conscious growth. Sandi challenges us to take at least 1 thing from what we have heard and take it out into action in your life. To plant seeds with ourselves to look at these topics with a different perspective. When Robert asked her, ‘How can we connect and communicate with loved ones who have passed over?’ Sandi, wants us to focus first into connecting with yourself. To call out to them and allow yourself to feel their presence.

“I am extremely grateful for this opportunity to share, and these teachings are not my teachings, these teachings come from the elders, these teachings come from the Universe, these teachings are humanities teachings, I just happen to be a vehicle that has worked hard to remember them and has the desire to carry them forward.” -SL

*Music featured throughout this QuestHands podcast is by Dj Shiva




Episode 41 ~ Shiva


Episode 41 ~ Shiva

“I had a really well known guru author once tell me, 'Don’t label yourself as Spiritual Artist, don't go down this path that you have gone'. He said, 'you are spiritual, just make music. Just make music.' ” -SS

It has been quite a few months without a fresh episode release due to the fullness of life evolving and expanding for host Robert. However it was worth the wait for the special guest we had. Someone who provides a very important aspect to the QuestHands show. This Episode features Sarah Shivarani, more commonly known as Shiva or DJ Shiva. Ring a bell? Yes! Her music is featured and sampled throughout the podcast. She is Iranian, born in England, raised in Florida and currently lives in Los Angeles. 

“It dawned on me that oh, I did this to myself, and it woke me up and snapped me out of this negative spiral I was in; and my life took a turn at that point in my life.” -SS

Shiva was constantly inviting me to visit her in LA, however with Robert’s cruise ship contracts and unpredictable freelance life; as well as not being based in Toronto for over a decade, he encouraged her to visit Toronto, Canada. He was light about it, having that fun ‘daydreaming’ energy to the desire, as she had never been yet. Well who woulda thunk what proceeded next. Shiva was invited to play a set on one of the outdoor stages at this years Toronto Pride Festival.

“I had to make this music that has been calling me since I was a child” -SS

This manifestation was truly remarkable and a perfect example of ‘Law of Attraction’. Robert and Shiva met at an Abraham Hicks Law of Attraction Cruise 4 years ago where they only spent a few hours physically engaging through a dance party and chatting briefly afterward. Their resonance was enough to desire to keep in touch through the cosmos and cyberspace. Shiva did not even submit a proposal or application to perform in Toronto. IT JUST HAPPENED. . .

“The more you can chill out the better, thats the funny part, the work is chilling out” -SS

Shiva was happy and tickled with alignment with certain numerology patterns occurring with the ‘Number 5’. This being the 41st episode, thus 4+1 = 5. Her birthday was also a few days later where she turned 32, and 3+2= 5. She also got #5 on the ‘QuestWheel’. The number 5 is the most dynamic and energetic of all the single-digit numbers. It is unpredictable, always in motion and constantly in need of change. Although it is molded from an almost equal mix of masculine and feminine qualities, in general the 5 is slightly more feminine -- albeit a daring, tomboyish kind of feminine, with nothing demure or submissive about her. Perfect for this time and space in Shiva’s life, especially how numerically the name ‘Shiva’ is also a 5.

“But really, what it really means on a deeper level is, Joy. I want to feel joyful wherever I am at, and I know that the more that I feel that, the easier the other things will roll on in. So really the immediate success is, am i having fun today no matter what happens, did i enjoy myself, was i nice to myself?” -SS

Robert and Shiva seized this unique opportunity to not only catch up as friends but to artistically collaborate in live performance seeing they are both performing artists. It been a tiring yet profoundly multidimensional enriching experience for them both. Truly spiritual siblings as mirrors to each other. The fullest of days balancing, brainstorming, rehearsals, performing, taking voguing class with Iconic Leyomi, attending a Vogue Ball, visiting family, being a tourist, recording this podcast, and somehow eating and sleeping a bit. Total ‘Carpe Diem’ of seizing the day. 

“Love it in the becoming, love it as its growing. It is constantly evolving and the more we can love it where it is, the faster it can evolve into something better, which incorporates self acceptance and unconditional love. -SS

Shiva is committed to conscious living yet is forever a playful child seeking out the fun and joy in her experiences. She always knew she wanted music in her life and continues to have generous unique ideas in how to share music as meditation and medicine for us all to receive. It will be exciting to hear and experience her next level of expansion and future collaborations with Robert and his creative collective, ‘House of D.A.M.’

This episode marks the first one featuring a fellow ‘Abrahamster’ (someone who follows the teachings of Abraham Hicks as both Robert and Shiva do).

You can listen, support and follow Shiva through her Official Website or jump directly to your favourite social media accounts below:




iTUNES for her 2 EP’s ‘Dark Moon’ & ‘The Art of Allowing’:

About Abraham Hicks:

The theme of this ‘Weekly Quest’ is CAREER. Fine tune your focus. Think about the one thing, that if you did every day for a year, would absolutely take you to the next level in your career! Not 3 things or 5 things, but 1 thing. Once you have decided this one thing, create a time block for that one thing. Whether it is 10 mins or 1 hour or 90 mins, a focus block, put away all distractions. Put your laptop off wifi, your phone in another room and you set your timer. Dedicate yourself to that focus block as if you were having a meeting with someone. Take your meeting with yourself just as seriously. Dedicate yourself and your time to that one thing you said you were going to do!

*Music featured throughout this QuestHands podcast is by Dj


Episode 40 ~ Susan Gold


Episode 40 ~ Susan Gold

“Somebody once said there is no bad clay, there are are only bad potters. But I counter that by saying, ‘No there is bad clay, but a bad potter doesn’t know the difference between good and bad clay”. -SG

This Episode features Susan Gold who is part of QuestHands history being the first direct blood relation to a previous show’s guest. Marimba Gold-Watts from Episode 36 is Susan’s daughter. Just like where Marimba lives in NYC, Susan is from the east coast but has been in San Francisco for 44 years now. She worked for The San Francisco Unified School District (SFUSD) as a Teacher for 25 years, sneaking Art into English and History whenever she could.

“I started out as an art teacher, but soon found out that I could do more art if I wasn't directly teaching arts. So I taught english and history and incorporated a tremendous amount of arts into my curriculum. And also I found that the art of teaching is an art form. It’s a genuine art form and you are an entertainer. You are on a stage with your students.” -SG

Located in Golden Gate Park lies The Sharon Arts Studio where Susan currently spends all her time as an Independent Ceramic Artist and studio teacher. She has been part of this building and community for 21 years. You could say she found home. Some people feel she does indeed live there for the amount of hours which she puts in. From all her years of sculpting with her hands she has no problem opening bottles and jars at home. Susan also shares some interesting general information about sculpting in regards to the ratio of male to female, countries and traditions. This episode was actually recorded in one of the classrooms that Susan teaches in, which made Robert happy for being in such a creative artistic space.

“It can’t be just San Francisco that changes, it has to be more wide spread because if there is a more widespread community here, we will get more and more people who come here to take advantage of that support (understandably) and then the whole burden of support will come onto us (San Fran) as oppose to other cities.” -SG

It was fun for Robert to observe how aspects of Susan reminded him of his friend Marimba. She also reminded Robert of his own mom. Both these woman truly grateful to travel the world and see different countries and cultures due to where their ambitious children were living through studies or employment at the time. A favourite place Susan got to see was Cape Town, South Africa, which she described as a similar city to San Francisco but on steroids in comparison to the characteristics.

“I wish that people can overcome their prejudice, their narrowness, their fears and reach out to one another in a beautiful natural peaceful way” -SG

Susan is a friendly, responsible, diverse teacher, mother and artist. It was humbling of her to reveal that her greatest strength is also her greatest weakness ‘Perseverance’. As sometimes we humans need to know when to stop trying and let go. Susan loves spreading enthusiasm and sharing in the pleasures of her students discoveries.

“When some obstacle comes up I don’t think, oh it’s all over, this is the end. You know, I think, I’ll get through that and then there will be another one around the corner to overcome.” -SG (reflecting on her Father’s phrase: ‘That’s life, one thing after another’)

To check out and purchase some of Susan’s art visit:

You can follow her on Instagram too:

The theme of this ‘Weekly Quest’ is HEALTH. Make sure to exercise but don’t overdo it. Eat lots of greens, yes kale really is good for you. Be conscious with your body, check in with your body as often as you can. See where you are holding tension in your body and let it go.

*Music featured throughout this QuestHands podcast is by Dj Shiva